Snake Tatoo

We went to the Renaissance Faire on Saturday and he had the face painter fashion a large snake on Ryan's arm. He was always too sensory defensive when he was younger to get his face painted, so this was a big deal for us. He held his arm carefully. The artist who painted the snake told Ryan that he could relax his arm but I'm not sure he'd ever been around someone with sensory issues because he looked puzzled when Ryan didn't.

At any rate, the day progressed, we had an amazing time and came home tired, sunburned and happy. The sunburn, however, had other repercussions for Ryan.

The snake paint acted as a sunscreen and now he has a skin snake on his arm!! You can even see the face and tongue and some of the markings on the snake. Ryan is thrilled! He was so bummed that he had to wash it off for church on Sunday morning, but it had gotten so smeared during the night that it wasn't worth keeping.

I, however, felt like a horrible mother. How could I let him get sunburned like that! I forgot to put sunscreen on him! Then I wondered about all the kids who had face paint all over their sweet little faces and got sunburned! I bet some moms felt worse than I did!

He says it doesn't hurt and we keep putting lotion on it. He's happy that he still has his snake "tat".

Honestly, I hate it when I forget things like that! When they're little you think of it. When they're older, you don't always. Nuts.

At any rate, we'll see you tomorrow.

Take care and have a happy Memorial Day,

Karen

That All May Worship

“God frequently works through the unexpected. We need to listen, persevere in spite of inconvenience and remain open to creative solutions and opportunities. Accidents, diseases and birth conditions occur that demand dramatic and taxing changes. Families experience intense disappointment, loss, financial burdens and anger. Fortunately, for some families, the resulting responsibilities bring out new talent, compassion and vision. Never forget—a disabling condition may be one unsteady stepladder, one overheated stove, one high fever or one stroke away. If we don’t have limiting conditions now, we surely may before we die.” That All May Worship-Nat’l Org on Disability.

I read the above excerpt and noticed that all of the challenges of having a family member with a disability were listed, but the joys were omitted, as though life with disability is bereft of happiness and rewards; that there isn’t much reason to laugh. And while I understand the sentiment, and may even agree with it some times, I will go just a step further to talk about the positive aspects of having a loved one with a disability.

Families tend to pull together and become a unit, everyone needs to pitch in and closeness with each other is often times a result. Small victories are celebrated, and nothing is taken for granted. Buttering a slice of bread successfully becomes a reason for a trip to the park, or at minimum, hugs and laughter, no matter what the age of the slatherer. We know our family member’s doctors and teachers well and do not hesitate to contact them at home—we know they care.

The new people we meet through our family member’s disability makes us realize just how inter-dependent we really are in this world and that we are created to embrace each other’s spirits—we learn to enjoy and value those relationships. We slow down, we reprioritize. As we do, our faith grows ever deeper.

Let us resolve to look more closely, care more deeply and love more fully than ever before. Be a blessing to someone.

“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” Psalm 118:24 (NIV).

Have a great weekend and we'll see you soon!
Much love and joy,
Karen

Wandering the River

Hi everyone,
Can you believe it's nearly JUNE??? I can't. What an amazing spring. I can't remember a prettier one! At least not for a long time.

We spent yesterday on the Mississippi River. What an amazing day it was. We also ran up to scenic Buena Vista where we saw a fawn. I'm going to post a pic.

She was within feet of us and absolutely adorable ... but upset to be away from mama.

We walked all over and were tourists in our own state. We loved it. The bluffs were gorgeous and the breezes were balmy.

Ryan learns best by experiencing, touching and seeing so these trips have a lot of sensory and educational value for him.

We try to schedule something each day of the weekend that is new and exciting, especially during the summer when the weather is so great.

Which reminds me, I'd better get my rear in gear and take a shower. We're off to the Renaissance Faire today.

Talk soon!

Karen

Memorial Day

I want to take a moment to remember what Memorial Day is all about. Please remember our soldiers, past and present. They go through a lot and need our support.

This is all I have today. Please take one moment of silence to remember those who have fallen.

Thanks and we'll see you tomorrow.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Are you an Introvert or an Extrovert?

Ryan harvested his first produce! Two little green onions! They were hotter than all get out too! He's loving his garden and in this warm, humid weather it is growing by leaps and bounds.

Ryan is at respite this morning and I have a post-op doctor appointment. Fun use of respite, right? I should do something fun but I'm just sitting here like an idiot. Sometimes I think we just need to breathe.

Someone once told me you could tell if you were an introvert or an extrovert, not by how you act, but by where you get your strength. If you feed off the energy of a group and feel your most relaxed after a social gathering you are an extrovert. If you regain balance and momentum from solitude you're an introvert. You know what? I feel like I'm both. After a great time out with friends or family I feel relaxed and happy. Keep me with them too long and I start getting tired and weary.

I love being alone too. I love to read and putter around the house. Keep me away socially for too long and I get cabin fever. I'm a writer, that's introverted. I've always been into travel, that's extroverted. I don't mind my own company, I can always keep busy and interested in something. Introverted. I love seeing new sights ... but you know? I'll see those new sights when the crowds have thinned usually. Maybe I AM more of an introvert.

What do you do if you are an introvert and your special child is an extrovert. How weary do you become feeding that source of strength for them? All something to ponder, no?

Well, I'd better get rolling or I'll be late for my post-op.

Thanks for stopping by

Much love and joy,

Karen

Take a break

Hi there!

It's Wednesday, hump day, and I just wanted to remind you all to take time for yourself today. Pick a shady spot and have a cup of coffee with a friend, read a book or people watch. Take time to de-stress and meditate.

Remember, I'm praying for you and your special person!

Much love and joy,

Karen

Assistive Technology - Faucets

Hi everyone!

This is the absolute coolest! If your special someone has trouble telling hot from cold this might be something you're interested in. They only cost about $20 and if they prevent a burn ... how worth it is that? I've included the link to Amazon since its an uber-safe company to order from but there are other companies that sell this faucet.

Chrome faucet with changing colors

Product Features:



• Shiny Chrome Colored


• Changes with water temperature


• Red for hot, Blue for cold is helpful for children and seniors especially.


• Comes with 2 universal adapters to fit most USA or American water faucets


• Installs easily, long lasting LED, enclosed battery pack included

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0015PWOK8/ref=oss_product



Good luck and have a great day!
God bless,
Karen

Bless this Nest

This is Lou. He's the family chicken. My grandmother crocheted him and I couldn't part with him so now he's become the family mascot. He's had his picture taken in the dental chair (do chicken have teeth?), on road trips and at various gatherings.

The sign behind him says "Bless this Nest." The question I want to put to you today is "Do you bless YOUR nest?" That can be read about four different ways. I don't really mean are you a blessing to your nest, I mean do you actively ask God to bless your home?

With all the turmoil and angst I think that asking for our homes to be blessed is crucial. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread will give him a stone? ... If you know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?" (Paraphrased by me, the full verses are in Matthew 7)

Even though God knows what we need or want, he takes delight in our asking. Think about your own children. When they ask and you're able to answer, or better yet, go beyond and surprise them your heart sings. God is a perfect parent. He will answer your requests. "Ask and it will be given to you; Seek and you will find; Knock and the door will be opened to you."

My nephew Dylan, when he turned six years old, wanted two gifts for his birthday, a cell phone and a credit card. While we all smiled, my brother, like me, believes that children need a cell phone for safety reasons and accommodated the first request. This year Dylan turned nine, and while he didn't get a "real" credit card, he got a Visa gift card. My brother never would have thought to get Dylan a cell phone until he asked and the credit card is more about timing. The point is ... he TRIED to meet his son's wants within reason.

God, on the other hand, doesn't have to be reasonable. He CAN meet our wants and desires. Sometimes we too wait the timing of the answers to our prayers but he always knows what's best for us. It seems hard to believe when someone we love is sick or dying, but if YOU had the power to take that sick child and wrap your arms around him to stop the suffering, how easy would it be for you to put him back on earth to suffer more when you had the power to take him Home where there is no more pain or suffering. Sometimes it's about what's best for one of his other children. As parents of children with disabilities, I think we understand that.

All of this pondering and meditation to say ... Go ahead, be bold, ask God to bless your home. Ask him to bless your family and your special child. Ask him, like a child, for outrageous blessings, love and joy. Ask him to pour out blessings on you that you haven't even thought to ask for.

God bless you and yours,

Much love and joy,

Karen

A Sunday of Memories

It's Sunday and I'm finally heading back to church! It's been 6 weeks since my hip replacement and I feel secure enough to get up from the pew (no arms to lean on!) without dislocating the new hip. It'll be fun to see my church family, I've missed them and missed going. I live only a block away so I hear the bells and that's always nice, especially when they ring someone Home.

We're also heading to Evergreen Cemetery. It's where my father is buried and we want to make sure everything is set for Memorial Day. It's a beautiful old cemetery with lots of mature trees. We know nearly everyone buried around him so we visit friends too.

We have to leave in about 5 minutes but I just wanted to wish you a blessed Sunday!

Much love and joy,

Karen

Creative Occupational Therapy

I'm all for traditional therapies but when you need to employ some of those same concepts at home, especially as your child ages, you really need to be a little creative.

One of the best places for Ryan to get OT is at a seafood restaurant. He loves crab and by the time he's done eating it he's had at least 60 minutes of OT without even knowing it! 

He spends time cracking the crab, digging it out and spearing it to dip in butter. He loves every moment and the cost is cheaper than OT in a clinical setting ... about $25 an hour. That's not bad for intensive OT.

We use the same chore based philosophy when we do PT as well. Carrying a basket of laundry becomes heavy activity that we schedule just before we approach an intellectual task. It helps ensure attention and has the added benefit of Ryan being an integral part of the household. Every person needs to feel like their presence is needed.

What other ways do you work on therapies at home?

Have a great weekend,

Praying for you and yours,

Karen

A Time of No Bullying or Ridicule

Do you ever think about what it would have been like to have a child with special needs in the time of the frontier? I think if must have been harder in some ways and yet easier in some ways.

If the only people you saw were family, you'd never know ridicule, bullying or abuse (at least we hope not!) You would be needed for the survival of the family so would feel self worth as you worked along side them. I imagine that those who used wheelchairs would still be snapping green beans, picking berries and helping in other ways.

It wouldn't have been very easy for children who are medically fragile but I wonder about children with autism. With no societal pressures to conform perhaps they could have lived their quiet lives uninterrupted by the 'need' to make eye contact or do what others deem appropriate. The sameness each day of surviving would have fed into their true need for routine and, satisfied, they would have been an immense asset.

Sometimes I want to take my special child and run away to an earlier time, a simpler time. Without my faith I don't know if I'd do as well in this fast paced world. Ryan moves at his own rate and it's not what you'd term Speedy Gonzalez. We'd fit better in a slower time.

What do you think? Would your child have been happier or more "able" in an earlier era?

Take care and God bless you,

Much love and joy,

Karen

What does MOM say?

Mom says, "I'm not your mother! Stop calling me mom and use my name. I do have one you know!"

Does it bug anyone else that everyone has adopted this method of referring to parents? As far as I'm concerned it's disrespectful and creates distance between the professional and the parent. I do have a name and I like to be called Karen or Ms. Olson. It's kinder. It's also very lazy for you to refer to me as "mom"!

Ryan is 20 now, so I'm used to the it and it doesn't upset me or anything but I cringe when I hear teachers and other professionals using this shortcut to address parents. Sometimes the shortcut carries an attitude that DOES upset me.

Is it so very hard to respectfully use someone's name? I really bugs me when the person doing the "momming" is a parent of a child with disabilities who is in a parent-job advocating. Would you say, "What does Guardian think?" nope. You'd add an article, "What does Ryan's guardian think?" Maybe it's a matter of syntax and semantics with me. It's just plain bad English which probably explains why it annoys me so much when teachers do it.

Referring to me doesn't bother me as much as addressing me as Mom. "Hi, Mom" isn't cute when you're not my kid.

Please, as a gesture of kindness and respect, address me by my name. It's not a hard one. If you can't remember it then ask me. If your referring to me use standard English. Ryan's mom.

Well, that's enough of a rant for me! What do you think? Does it bug you when you are referred to as Mom?

Talk soon. May God bless you and yours,

Karen

Visual Learners

Good Morning!

What a great day it is too! The sun is shining, it's supposed to near 80 degrees! I hate to be obsessed and give you a weather report each morning, but we wait awhile for spring up here and the novelty never wears off! It's always brand new and kind of sparkly, ya know?

Ryan is hard of hearing, ergo he's more of a visual learner, but then, many of our children are. He learns by seeing, by touching and by processing with his eyes.

One of the ways I've found to assist that type of learning is by visiting all sorts of museums. This pic was taken at an old time town museum near Barron, WI. Ryan is standing at an old time post office. The odd thing is ... I remember being in post offices with the windowed mail boxes like this! Am I old, or what? Please say or what. ;-)

What other visual strategies do you have for your child with exceptional learning needs? Chime in!
Thanks and we'll see you tomorrow!
God bless,
Karen

Autism Conference Schedule for WI

Autism Society of WI's Fall Conference Schedule
More Details on the Autism Society of WI website

 September 23-24, 2010 - Paula Kluth

Co-Sponsored by DPI

Two Day Mega Training by Paula Kluth

Wintergreen Resort & Conference Center

Wisconsin Dells



October 15-16, 2010 AutCom Conference

National AutCom Conference

Co-Sponsored by ASW

Wyndham Milwaukee Airport Hotel & Convention Center



ASW 2011 Annual Conference

April 14-16

Kalahari Resort & Convention Center

Wisconsin Dells

(Early Bird materials will be on the website soon and in the next ASW

newsletter.)



Jane Pribek,Events Coordinator
Autism Society of Wisconsin
P.O. Box 165
Two Rivers, WI 54241
Phone 920-973-4080
Fax 888-836-4082
jpribek@asw4autism.org

Marvin Martian Mondays

Do you ever feel like Marvin the Martian visiting another planet? The life you plan for your child with special needs just doesn't always mesh with the ones others are planning?

If you're a person of faith you're not far from right. We are only here temporarily. We are not of this world, but of the next. We are here for such a short time, some of our special children less than that. If we keep that in mind it makes this life seem more precious. It's an experience for growth and love. The next life, our REAL life will be forever and it will ROCK!

To that end I've made a list of thoughts to consider:

1. 
   
   Live each day like there is no tomorrow ... or yesterday.
2. 
   
   Take risks, the rewards are great.
3. 
   
   Hug people, even if you have to teach yourself to do it.
4. 
   
   Say goodbye to people as though you'll never see them again.
5. 
   
   Ask God to bless your children.
6. 
   
    Read funny books, watch funny movies, laugh ... alot!
7. 
   
   Do something for yourself every day.
8. 
   
   Forgive.
9. 
   
   Get enough sleep.
10. 
    
    Spend time really looking at (and touching) nature.
11. 
    
    Watch squirrels, they're hysterical.
12. 
    
    Buy or pick fresh flowers.
13. 
    
    Tell your family that you love them.
14. 
    
    Praise your children.
15. 
    
    Pray.

Have a good Monday,

Much love and joy,

Karen

We gardened yesterday until we were half silly. I ached last night but it was soooo worth it. Ryan was happy, relaxed and satisfied. I was too.

Here he is putting seeds in. What a guy!

PUPPY CROQUET

We have an afternoon of Puppy Croquet planned. We own a retriever (actually a mutt who is half golden retriever, half springer/cocker mix) so when we hit the ball she races us to it. If she gets there first she "retrieves" you back to start and you have to play from where it lays. Sometimes the Puppy Penalty is substantial. We've played out of weeds, flowers, just about anywhere you can think of. If the person who hits the ball gets  to it first they need to stand with their foot on the ball until it's his or her turn again. It's absolutely wild. The more people, the more chaos!

Here's a photo of the culprit. She's a wild puppy and is scheduled to get her hair trimmed and get some shots on Monday. She's needed a hair cut forever but with my hip I just didn't get her there. Julie, her groomer, will probably fall over! The white spots you see on her coat is fur coming out! It looks like mange but it's simply a long haired mutt blowing coat. Whew! The vacuuming alone is daunting!

Have a happy Sunday and we'll see you back here tomorrow.

Much love and joy,

Karen

A Day at the Greenhouse!

We had an awesome trip to Klinger's Farm Market yesterday. It's a place that centers both Ryan and I. We wandered through flowers, bushes, plants and trees. Ryan was buying plants, seeds and gardening tools for his raised planting beds and boy, did he buy!

He's planting radishes, carrots, green beans, peas, cucumbers, tomatoes and lettuce. We also bought onion sets and flowers for the beds. He wanted a gentle shower type watering tool that set us back about $20 but he was so taken with it I couldn't say no. I know ... he's probably spoiled. Don't we all overindulge our kids when they take such an over the top liking to something?

So, today we plant! We're even putting in the tomatoes already. We'll just have to cover them if we get cold weather. Ryan bought 3 cherry tomato plants and 3 large ones, Big Boy, Early Girl and Heritage. I hope they do well. It'll be fun to teach him how to wrap the stems with newspaper to prevent cutworm, although I don't know if cutworm is such a problem in raised beds. Worth doing though, I think.

I cannot tell you all the ways that Gardening is good for a person! In fact, I believe I'll write my column on it this month. Look for more in my column Life on the Exceptional Side in Family Times Newsmagazine June and July issue.

See you tomorrow!

Much love and joy!

Karen

My Baskets - My "Me" Time

I wanted to show you some baskets I made in basket class. Who knew I'd be able to make a basket? I needed quite a bit of help and it's a long process but it was nice to challenge myself. The one to the left is called the Cranberry Basket because of the little cranberry beads that are woven into it.

The other is a fall basket for magazines that I gave my mother as a Christmas gift last year.It's a lot bigger than it looks here. I took a break for a while because of health reasons but also because you can only have so many baskets, ya know? I'd like to make one more though so I'll have to watch for a really cool one.

The hardest part for  me was winding the top to finish them. The rest is fairly routine if you carefully watch what you're doing.

All this to say, don't forget about being a person. Have interests that take you out of the caregiver arena once in a while. It's important to grow and be creative as a person. So many times we get lost in our caregiver roles. We love our children, we wouldn't want it any other way. Always remember, however, that you are God's child and he wants to see you growing, changing, learning AND having fun! Think of how your heart sings when your children are truly enjoying themselves; when they're playing, laughing and delighted with something new. I think that God feels that too, when his children are doing something creative and fun.

You know, I never really feel the need for a break from Ryan. He's an amazing young man. However, I DO feel the need to do Karen stuff once in a while. What about you?

Take care and see you tomorrow.

Much love and joy,

Karen

This, my friends, is the cute birthday cake Ryan picked out for me! Isn't it a hoot? It's a hamburger on a sesame seed bun with ketchup, mustard, lettuce and the burger. It appealed to his sense of whimsy and here it is! I loved it!

My birthday went well. We had dinner at Texas Roadhouse. They really do make a good steak. Then gifts and cake at home. None of us are big cake eaters so the burger cake was the perfect size. You can tell how small it is sitting on my stove!

I'm struggling to learn about my MP3 player now. I'd like to upload my playlist for you to listen to while you read. Not sure my blogging skills will realize that dream! I'll give it a few tries!

I'm off to buy a chair today. My new hip can't take the recliner, the couch is too low ... like I told someone recently, I feel like Goldilocks ... without the blonde hair!

Have a marvy day and make sure to check out yesterday's post on the transition gig in the Dells. Sorry, it's only for people in Wisconsin.

Take care of you and remember, I'm praying for you and yours.

God bless,

Karen

Training Opportunity for WI - TRANSITION

Youth in Partnership with Parents for Empowerment

A Leadership Development Opportunity for Youth with
Disabilities and Their Parents to Learn About the Transition Process in a Unique Way

WHEN:

September 24-25, 2010
November 19-20, 2010
January 28-29, 2011
March 11-12, 2011
April 15-16, 2011

WHERE:

Wintergreen Resort
& Conference Center
Wisconsin Dells, WI

WHAT:
YiPPE starts at 5:00 p.m. Friday and ends by 3:30 p.m. on Saturday.
Youth, along with their parents/guardians, must attend ALL five weekend sessions.

The YiPPE Program assists youth, ages 15-20,

• to learn how to make decisions for themselves throughout the transition process,
• get involved in their school and community,
• learn how to be as independent as they can,
• learn more about self-advocacy and self-determination,
• prepare for work and/or college,
• learn what the future could hold for them,
• get to know other youth,
• make friends and have fun.

The YiPPE program assists parents to plan for their youth’s future:

• improving their leadership,communication and social skills
• learning about transition issues such as health care, employment, education, inclusion, legislation, and adult services
• learning about national, state, and local resources that will help their youth make a smoother transition
• become a part of a network of parents who have children with disabilities
• and, enjoy time with other parents.

Youth and their parents will hear from speakers and take part in hands-on activities in parallel
programs. While some topics may overlap, parents will be able to enjoy their own sessions
while their youth are learning similar information in a youth-friendly format.

WHO:
Who Can Sign Up?

Youth (ages 15-20) and their parent(s), foster parent(s), or grandparent(s), are
eligible for this program

Youth must be receiving special education
services

Those who have attended a Transition PIP
are not eligible to attend YiPPE Space is limited to 25 families

HOW:
To Register
Contact….

Brenda Yager
WSPEI
CESA 5
800-862-3725
Ext. 260
yagerb@cesa5.k12.wi.us

For more
Information
Contact….

Martha DeYoung
WSPEI
State Training
Coordinator
800-862-3725
Ext. 255
deyoungm@cesa5.k12.wi.us

Wow. I can't believe that we're in the middle of May already! Time just flies, doesn't it?

It's raining again. Since we've been in drought conditions for the last 5 years I guess I'm glad but I sure do love my sunshine.

Ryan is doing better. I was able to drive yesterday and fit my bod into my compact car. Bending the hip that much was a little bit of a panic but it went better than I thought it would so I was happy.

I took Ryan to lunch and we shopped a little. He loved it and I saw his delightful smile as we did some of the things we used to do before surgery. My heart sang. He's stopped regressing and caught back up almost entirely. His bounce back has been wonderful.

I just realized that my column is due soon and I'm thinking about topics. Anyone got any good ideas for me? I'm always open to suggestions for subject matter.

If you have a Deaf or Hard of Hearing child under the age of 8 I have some games that are like new. I'll try to post pics later today. I'd like to sell them for a small amount so Ryan can reap some profits to buy something for himself. Check back later.

Much love and joy,
Karen

Happy Manic Monday!

Mondays are always so full of things we need to do, aren't they? This is a photo I took of Ryan in the underpass at Beaver Creek Game Reserve. We were walking over to the observatory last summer (when I was still walking well ... I'll get there again!) Isn't it wild how the light and shadow work together for a cool effect?

Speaking of cool, Ryan decided suddenly this year that he likes hard boiled eggs (right around Easter, of course!) This morning he peeled his first one. He did very well. The eggs are fresh so are harder to peel than those that have some age on them. Part of the appeal of the egg, I'm sure, is that I have an egg slicer and he loves using it.

We planned on running to the greenhouse today but Friday looks like the weather will be nicer ... 68 and partly cloudy. We like to go to Klinger's Farm Market just north of Chippewa Falls so we wait for a beautiful day so we can spend extra time wandering their many many greenhouses. I think I heard they have over 20 on some commercial. (Don't quote me but it seems that way!)

I need to deal with Ryan's fiscal agent today at some point but being Monday I always think I should avoid it. Everyone else is calling too and that makes for a long time on hold and a little less attention as they field multiple calls.

God blessed me in a big way last evening. A young woman in Wisconsin e-mailed me that she'd like to design my Stampin' n Scrappin' with Karen blog for me! She's a demo too and has a son with disabilities. She's had her share of health issues and is a person of faith. God brought us together and I'm so grateful for her help. It'll be amazing!! I'm so excited to see it when she's done. I hope I'm not a total idiot as far as providing what she wants to make her job easier.

No real topic today, just rambling by a mom. Take care and know that I'm praying for you and your special someone.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Happy Mother's Day!
Ryan got me flowers for Mother's Day and I thought I'd share them with you. Aren't they awesome? I put his six month pic next to them. Every year, like clockwork, he buys me the most original bouquet he can find. G'ma takes him after church.

We decided to cook out today. Making untradional Mother's Day fare like brats, potato salad, baked beans, cucumbers and strawberries. We'll cook them at about 1:00 and save the rest so we have leftovers for supper. Less cooking.

I'm getting back to the festivities. Happy Mother's Day!
Much love and joy,
Karen

More on Horticultural Therapy

Man! I just spent about 10 hours messing around with a temporary file that was causing a blue screen crash on my laptop! Talk about time consuming!!!! ERG! I finally got things back under control and ran full scans on everything I could. Honestly! I can't keep up!!

So much of what we do is on line anymore and, as a caregiver, I don't have time to stay abreast with the latest and greatest. Prayer comes into it a lot of the time. Nothing else explains how I get all of this done!

I took a movie with my digital camera of Ryan weeding and prepping his horticultural beds for seeding. I think he got every single weed! They look great and I was so proud of him. Unfortunately, our neighbors have a lot of garbage etc in their lawns that shows up in the background. We're putting up a privacy fence this year and that will help tremendously. Ryan says he doesn't feel safe out there and insists that he won't go out there alone unless there's a privacy fence. We all have our little pecadillos so ... the privacy fence will go up in the next month or so.

I want the backyard to be Ryan's private refuge, a place where he can be as disabled as he needs to be, you know? He wants a swing and a paddling pool too. Both have to do with sensory stimulation as well as just getting outside and "playing." It'll be sooo good for him to get outside and move a little. Since my hip went wonky on me I had to quit walking and when I'm not walking neither is he. Seems like we've both gained weight. Blech.

Hope your Saturday is filled with fun, friends and family.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Horticultural Therapy

It's cold today. Here it is May and we're looking at a possibility of snow. Yeah, you heard me, snow. It's not a big deal, it'll melt right away but what a mess. Yuck! I hope it doesn't hurt the trees and plants.

Happy Friday, everyone! TGIF! We'd planning on brats for supper tonight but brrrrr. Guess we'll eat leftovers and hope tomorrow is warmer. No point in watching the weather really ... it's either bad news or wrong news ... am I right?

Ryan raked up his horticultural therapy beds yesterday. We built (compliments of IRIS) some amazing raised beds for him to garden in. He's so excited he can hardly wait to start planting. He raked up the soil, picked weeds and put a tiny scarecrow in one of them. I was proud of him. Of course he went out and retrieved the scarecrow before bed last night and put it in his room. He was afraid it would get ruined. We'll talk later. For now, I just said fine and wiped up the dirt.

I did a feature article on the benefits of horticultural therapy for my column in Family Times a few years back. (I still can't believe I've been writing that column for over 10 years! Where does the time go?) The benefits are staggering. Hospitals, nursing homes and other medical facilities find the evidence indisputable and are putting in gardens as well.

Ryan wants to plant organic vegetables and I'm all for it. The one thing he wants, that he can't grow, is corn. He just doesn't have the room. At any rate ... on Monday it's off to the greenhouses to buy some seeds and onion sets. He's so excited about it. It opens up all manner of common language for him. He can talk to employees about what to grow, chat with the men at church about "farming" albeit on a small scale and in general have stories to tell. All are perks of horticultural therapy.

The beds were made to be accessible for Ryan, as it turns out they'll be better for me too now with the new hip. Isn't God awesome? He worked it out for both of our benefits.

I'll let you go. Thanks for stopping by and don't forget that there is blog candy at stake here! Contact me by the end of the day to enter the drawing!!!

Much love and joy,

Karen

Security

Hi there,
I had a great visit with my younger brother yesterday and didn't think about my to-do list once. He, however, was mad busy. He's key man in a security firm and in the state for business. Even on his days off his boss calls, his employees call, he needs to make sure things are happening the way they should. If I thought I had a full time job as a caregiver ... well, let's just say I get the occasional Disney movie time off!

Since I've been healing from my hip replacement Ryan has been doing better. He really regressed when he was worried and, of course, that worried me. Last night, he said G'nite and told me he'd tuck himself in. Since I was sick and in the hospital in January and then with the April hip re-do he's been asking me to tuck him in. I'm sure it helped to make him feel secure. He's starting to act like his old self, getting the dog's food on his own, making his bed and doing the other chores he was doing as well as smiling more. For a while he truly lost his smile and nearly broke my heart. He has a wonderful smile and I missed it.

What are the things that you do with your child with special needs that make them feel safe? Ryan and I always pray together each evening before bed. That seems to really ground us in what's important.

CHeck out the poll to the right of this post and vote. It'll be interesting to see how many us feel that volunteering is important.
Take care and see you soon.
Much love and joy,
Karen

NTD Day (Non -To-DO)

Here I am on my NTD (Non-to-do) day. My to-do list is safely filed in my room. I put a roast in the crockpot for supper and have two letters on the table to be mailed. That's it. I even looked at the letters and thought, "maybe tomorrow."

My younger brother arrived last night and it was fun to listen to all of this stories about white water rafting, shrimping, crabbing and all the other fun things people do in the pacific northwest. Makes me feel an urge to do some of that myself. WIth my brand new hip, however, I'll probably just listen to stories and try something mild like belly dancing or recumbent biking. I can't wait to be mobile again. Ryan and I haven't even been to movies in years because my hip was so screwed up. It's time to reclaim my life.

We need to break out of our rut. We go on photo safaris along the Mississippi River or Irvine Park. We visit the Farmers Market at Phoenix Park. We're looking for ideas if anyone has some. As soon as I can drive and motate out of here we're starting our summer early. Let me know if you have fav spots to visit. I need to plan my first vacay without Ryan too. But that's a post for another blog.

Take care and see you soon,
Karen

To Do Lists

Good Morning,

I was just checking my eternal "to-do" list and lamenting the number of items on it and how time consuming each one was. Yuck.

I'm a list maker and have been since I was old enough to write. I love to sort and prioritize tasks ... doing them is another matter altogether. My list making is almost a serious issue these days. No cutsey-wootsey post-it lists for me! Mine are bulleted on legal pads that take multiple pages. I highlight them as they are completed and it's almost the same high you get when you hear your pickle jars pop as they seal.

It seems, however, that I get half way down the list only to find that those tasks at the top of the list need doing again and I've not even reached the big jobs. Often times I use my respite hours to get things done, something I resent.

It's important for me to remember that respite is important and there for a reason. As a person of faith I can literally enter into the "rest of God." I can sit and trust that my health and restoration is more important than that of my to-do list.

Eventually, each task will get done. I need to schedule lunch with a friend and let the chores sit until I'm refreshed and ready to do them. Honestly, if I'm exhausted I stand a worse chance of getting anything done!

So, tomorrow I am planning on not looking at my to-do list at all. My brother will be in town from Everett, WA and I'm going to spend the entire day enjoying his company instead of sweating the tasks that will be there when I'm done having a day to myself.

Do you use respite to get things done? Or do you actually relax and enjoy the feeling of no responsibility? What do you do during your respite?

Have a lovely day. It's supposed to be 75 degrees and sunny. Can you say grill?
Take care of yourself and God bless,
Karen

TV Viewing

I'm a bad mom. Ryan is up and watching his second movie of the day, Mr. Limpet. Remember Don Knotts? It's the one where he becomes a cartoon fish. Typically, one movie is all he gets unless it's a weekend. Just like it's harder for Ry to learn, it's more difficult for him to process all those visual images before he goes to bed. Really, it's not good for any of us.

I hate to give in on extra television but I get a little me time and honestly, we all do it. I think the trick is to limit the viewing and allow exceptions. It's not like he's a young child and I know he doesn't watch as much as a lot of other kids but tv isn't always the best influence on him.

I'm not anti-tv, just cautious. Ryan is hard of hearing and relies heavily on visual input. Just like anything else overindulgence isn't healthy. Do you limit your kid's watching? Do your children have tvs in their bedrooms? How much tv is too much?

Take care of you. G'nite and God bless.
Karen

Here it is another Monday morning. Ryan slept well last night, a blessing since he was almost at that over tired, over stimulated point from all the weekends wild activities. That meant that I got some rest too.

It worries me a little the way Ryan is always uncovered at night. He kicks the covers off then freezes. I tried turning the heat up but then neither one of us can breathe. Kind of wishing for the old days of blanket sleepers. I even tried a lightweight velux blanket only when the heavier weightier ones didn't work. Sigh. He doesn't wake up either and recover himself. He just lays there freezing. I guess the answer may be for me to find him some real heavy duty long underwear or PJs, right?

Hey, I found a recipe I thought I'd share for a quick lunch on the go. Here it is:

TURKEY WRAP Or (as I like to call it) 1000 Turkeys in a Garden

Spread 1 T Thousand Island Dressing on a whole wheat wrap
Add 2 ounces of deli turkey
2/3 cup shredded iceburg lettuce
2 thin tomato slices (I actually dice mine but the diced fall out more)
6 cucumber slices, halved (I dice these too and they fall out also)
Roll up tightly and place on a cutting board, seam side down
Cut in half diagonally
Wrap and GO!
Easy peasy, huh?

Well, that's it for me this morning. Make sure you sign up as a follower after you read the blog. I'm feeling a little lonely with only one follower. Sniff. sniff. (Think Donkey singing outside of Shreks house) I know you've seen it!!
God bless and have a wonderful and wacky Monday!
Much love and joy,
Karen

ps. Don't let those IEPs get you. Make a decision today that you will NOT stress out over them. Take a deep breath and give it to God.

Sleep and worry

Ryan had another Best Buddy event this evening, an end-of-the-year Potluck. He said he had a good time and he loves tacos which is what they ate I guess so he's happy. Tired, but happy.

Speaking of tired ... you ever hit those days when you're just plain pooped? That's me the last few days. Why I started a blog when I was so exhausted is beyond me. Honestly, sometimes I just need to be slapped. As if I don't have enough to do! I love writing though, it relaxes me to chat to you. End of the school year is usually tiring as well. Seems like all of Ryan's activities come to an end and everyone wants a final hurrah. I don't begrudge that I just don't have a whole lot of energy. I love to see the smile on his face when he's been busy thought, it warms my heart.

He's asking for bed early tonight however. I want him to stay up until about 9:00 so I've got a movie in and he's laying in bed watching. Otherwise he'll be up at 3:00 a.m. Just like the rest of us! I have to admit we have a finely tuned schedule. With meds, bedtimes, get up times etc. Ryan sleeps better. Actually, I heard somewhere that we should all be doing that. Sometimes I put off sleep just because I'm not ready to face the next day. I'm not dreading it or anything, just not ready. There aren't enough hours in ONE day. I keep remembering the Bible verse, "Don't worry about tomorrow, today has enough worry of its own" So true, don't you think. Check out Matthew for that whole section on worrying. It really helps when you're feeling overwhelmed. Which, when you are a caregiver, is most of the time. Am I right?

It's time for me to fly ...
Love, joy and Good nite,
Karen

Sunday Morning Blues

Hi everyone,

Ryan's Best Buddy Golf outing went well. His team won first place. I guess Sam and his dad are pretty experienced. Ryan held his own though, considering. He's mainly interested in driving the golf cart. I bet that's a trip.


I'm bummed that I still can't handle church. Ryan is going with his G'ma this morning and I'm stuck here. Nuts! The only issue I have left is sitting down and getting up from the pews. There aren't arms for me to grab so I either have to twist or lean too far forward to get up, both are no-no's for new hips ... especially hips only three weeks old. Oh well, it is what it is, right?

I can watch Joel Osteen tonight and that'll help. Anyone else a fan of Joel Osteen? He's a preacher out of Texas who spreads hope and empowerment. He's on BET at 10:00 CDT or 11:00 CDT on the Family Channel usually. I watch as many Sundays as I can just because he preaches taking joy in the place where you are. Worth a look see.

Prayers for all of you. May you notice all sorts of joyous moments in your day today!
Much love,
Karen

Best Buddy Golf Outing

Ryan has a charity golf outing today with his Best Buddy, Sam. For those of you who are not familiar with Best Buddies, it's a group started by one of the Kennedys (I forget which one) when he was in college. It pairs a college "buddy" with a community "buddy" (an adult with special needs). It's supposed to foster a relationship between the two. It's also about "seeing" the other person.

Once each month during the school year the college buddies schedule a group activity. Then, during the rest of the month the buddies call each other, do outside activities together and in general get to know one another.

Some years we've had buddies let us down but for the last four years we've had Sam. Sam and Ryan have gone to movies, bowling or just played Wii together. Last year Sam's parents came from his hometown and they formed a foursome for the first Best Buddy golf outing. It was such a success they are doing it again this year.

At first, I was a little nervous. What if Ryan is standing in the way when someone swings the club. {shudder} What if he swings and someone else is standing in the way? {erg!} What if he never hits the ball? {a real possibility} What if ... but then I stopped. I told Sam to make sure that no one was in the way for either scenario and let it go! Honestly, we can sure worry ourselves up! They had a great time! Ryan took his camera and came back full of stories and great pics.

Today they go again. The forecast is sunny and 70 degrees. There's a raffle, Famous Daves is catering ... all in all ... it sounds like a day made in heaven! This year I had IRIS pay for both Ryan's and Sam's outing fees and I hope they have an awesome day. This year I'm heading out to the golf course for the dinner and raffle portion of the festivities.

I recommend Best Buddies if your adult with special needs wants to join a fun and meaningful activity. See you soon!
Karen