Routine

I've had Ryan on a routine since he was tiny. When he was three and four years old I taught him how to make his bed when he got up. It was the first thing he did each morning. Once he had it ... he had it. For the first ten years I put up with sheets and underblankets hanging askew under the colorful quilts but I never corrected him.

When I tucked him in at night I commented on whagt a good job he'd done that morning. His little chest swelled with pride. He's 20 years old now and we still deal with sheets that hang before the comforter some days. I still don't correct him. It's just not worth hurting his feelings. If I feel that something more needs to be done I wait until he's gone and adjust it. As a single parent I appreciated that it was one less thing for me to do.

Ryan also brings his dinner plates to the sink when he's done. A friend of mine commented on it once. "He has to help out," I said. "We both live here and I can't do it all." I don't think those chores were too hard on him. He also keeps the dog's dishes full of food and water, takes out the trash to the outside can when I ask him, and helps with myriad other tasks. He can see that it's truly helping.

What do you all do for tasks for your little guys with special needs? Do you ask them to help out? Or do you like everything "just so" and do it yourself? How would you feel if you didn't have to EVER take out the trash because it was another family member's job? It's surprising how "one less thing" can cause a sigh of relief. Try it and see what happens.
Good luck and talk to you soon.