My father has been gone now for sixteen years. It doesn't seem like it can be that long. When father's day looms I feel just a little sad. My son barely remembers him. Yesterday, however, we went fishing and all sorts of stories came to me, stories I could tell Ryan about his Boppa.
We laughed about motoring into the Mississippi River sloughs where it was common to get our lines caught in the low slung bushes when casting .... then I got my line caught in a low slung bush while casting ... and had to rip it out by yanking on the pole.
We laughed and told stories about Boppa. When we were done for the day, I told Ryan more incidents from our fishing days with his grandfather.
What's my point? Don't underestimate the power of storytelling your family history to your child with special needs, especially those stories that are about other people and the things they used to do that weren't perfect. As Robin Williams says on Good Will Hunting, "That's the good stuff."
If I gently tell about Boppa getting his line stuck in a bush and laugh warmly and affectionately, then when Ryan gets his line stuck we can laugh with him. He's like Boppa. He's connected. He's part of a larger group, his family. His inability is shared. His Boppa used to do that from time to time, his mom just did that and look ... now he did too.
Storytelling about other family members also works on more than connectedness, it works on common language and it works on memory (there is a vested interest in remembering the story). It has benefits on so many different levels.
Tell your child a story today, about your childhood, about your young adulthood. He or she can learn from your tales of joy and woe.
Until next time,
Much love and joy,
Karen
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