Has your 20-year-old moved out yet?

Good morning everyone,

It's another gorgeous day! I pray that you are feeling good and relaxed today. I offer prayers for your school year as your child gets ready to begin. My son has one more year of homeschool so we're gearing up as well.

I went to dinner with some friends the other night and one of them was a woman I hadn't seen in a while. When she asked about my family the first and only thing she asked was, "Is Ryan at home?" Initially I misunderstood the question and gave her a strange look because I'd never leave Ryan home alone. Then I said, "He's at his grandma's house." She looked a little puzzled. Then it dawned on me.

This woman had been a school counselor for years and was still buying into the whole disabled track. What I mean by that is "Your child must be in Special Olympics" "Your child must have a full time job" "Your child must move out at 21," etc.

I've never really followed the norm. Remember my post on being a road crossing mommy duck? I bought into that at first, but then realized I needed to concentrate on Ryan as an individual with personal tastes. He didn't want to be in Special Olympics, he didn't enjoy those particular sports. He wanted to explore the arts.

He didn't want a full time job lifting boxes or sweeping up. He wanted to work at the game reserve, regardless of pay. He's only twenty so we haven't talked a lot about moving out but we LIKE living together. It's the two of us and the dog. We scrapbook together, watch bullriding, we love fishing, outdoor movies, festivals, gardening. We like spending time together. His quality of life is awesome right now.

We're in the process of getting the house just like he wants it. Down the road I might move out and a new caregiver move in. We don't know. Right now, we're very happy.

My point here is this: Don't let others views of how your life should be dictate what you do with your special needs child. Do your own thing. What might be fine for one child will NOT fit another. Listen to your young person. Find out what THEY want out of life and give them the power to decide those things (within reason of course!) That's also one of the strengths of the IRIS program, by the way. It allows people with disabilities to break of that tracking stereotype and be themselves.

One of Ryan's favorite stamps says, "Be Yourself, There's Nobody Better Qualified."

Have a great day and may God bless you richly as you start a new year of school and activities.
Much love and joy,

Karen