Happy Fourth of July!

Happy Fourth of July!!!!

Healing

I decided to post this one because it's somewhat fourth of july-ie. This was taken at the Eagle Center in Wabasha MN. BTW The Eagle Center will be at the Northern WI State Fair next week. Stop by and see them, the birds are truly magnificent. Anyhoo....

There was this man who collected American Flags there and he had a ton of different types. I had no idea our flag had gone through that many changes. I knew about changing the stripes and changing the number of stars and the pattern they were in but he had some pretty funky looking stuff.

Ryan, of course, loved the snake flag, being a lover of snakes. The little fox snake out at the game reserve seems to return the affection on tank cleaning day ... he watches Ryan the entire time he's there and is so good when Ryan handles him. It's amazing.

Funny how animals get disability sometimes. Granted, a bobcat would probably view it as an opportunity, but so many tamed animals seem to "get it" you know? Our dogs do, especially our last dog, Ginger. Do you have a pet that is good with your child? They say dolphins heal. Hmmm. (not if we kill them all in oil spills by contaminating their food supply!) I digress.

Dogs lower blood pressure and have a variety of physiological effects on people, that's why they use them for pet therapy. Cats can tell when someone is going to die and they'll sit with them until they do. Birds in the house are known to make people feel happy during the long winter months.

Bear with me ... do you suppose there are animals who can cure cancer? Just by being in community with us? Just by having friendships. What about us? I believe we can heal each other. Are we not tapping into that the way we should be?

Today hold your child, pray for healing. Believe it will happen.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Double Flowers

It's the year of double flowers for me! These were labeled Black Eyed Susans but they must be doubles. Aren't they absolutely gorgeous?

These were labeled petunias and I got double petunia too! They're so ruffled and beautiful!

I love planting flowers. I'm so glad that Ryan loves his gardening beds because we can discuss growing things together and practice conversations he might have with others before he gets out there and starts chatting. Last week at the Farmer's Market they had a Master Gardener "ask a question" stall. Ryan couldn't think of anything so we've been racking our brains this week so we'll have something to ask tomorrow.

I have to admit, there is something about flowers that makes me feel good deep inside. God must have known that they'd brighten our days and fill our lives with color and scent. What a lovely gift. I even love dandelions.

I don't really have a point today. I just wanted to share my flowers with you. Have a great day and see you tomorrow.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Grandparents Raising Grandkids

Ryan has a special relationship with his Grandmother. They spend time together every week doing the things they like to do together.

I remember a news special once that went on and on about grandparents helping with childrearing and how it was a new phenomena. My grandmother snorted. "It's always been the role of grandparents to help with childrearing. When we lived on the farm the grandparents raised the kids while the parents worked the farm. That way worked the best."

I thought about what she said and she's so right? When did grandparents start to feel that it was odd to help raise their grandkids? When did childrearing become less of a family affair and more of a "you're on your own" type of deal? Hillary Clinton maintains that it takes a village, at minimum it should at least take a family! Especially when you child has special needs!

I thank God for my parents. My father, Ryan's Boppa, died when Ryan was four years old. He told me that leaving Ryan was one of his great regrets because Ryan needed him so much. My mother, after cleaning out the house and selling it, moved here to be near us and help with Ryan.

On those days when his disabilities are bad they sit and play cards, watch movies and play gentle games. When he has good days they walk in the park, shop and bake together. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have time to do Karen-things. It's like I always maintain, "I never feel like I need a break from Ryan. I just need time to do my own stuff."

I pray that your family helps you with your special someone. If they're not, maybe they just need to be asked by you.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Whimsy and Wonder in Everyday Songs

It's deep summer and I love it! I heard my first locust buzzing today and the weather was absolutely beyond perfect! Crisp, clear, and sunny. Amazing!

I took a photo of our patio umbrella on Ryan's request, he loves lawn doo-da ... in quantity. It's gotten better as he's gotten older. Now he concentrates on dancing, musical stuffed animals. Trust me, you can't believe how many are out there!! We have dancing rabbits, an 18 inch chili pepper who sings "hot hot hot" and over a dozen others. They drive me crazy but I'm so thankful he can take enjoyment in them, I put up with their cacophony. He can run up to two or three at a time.

The other day at about 4:00 a.m. the birds sang a similar tune and it struck me that there is a dissonance in most of our lives that makes up the melody of each day. We only have to let it all blend together and wash over us to hear the peculiar songs that are the soundtrack to our lives.

I lament the sounds Ryan will never hear, but I'm glad he can hear me say "I love you." I grieve for the young man that might have been while I celebrate the young man he is. There is much joy and blessing in each day, each verse of this whimsical and wonderful song.

May God bless you and show you joy today in your child with special needs. Remember I'm praying for you.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Life is Good

This is a sign I have hanging inside my front door, so I see it every time I leave the house. I sell Stampin' Up! scrapbook and card making supplies on the side (and teach therapeutic scrapbooking) so I wanted to use some of the cool vinyl Decor Elements on the mirror. It took me about five minutes to lay these words down.

Each time I see it I remember that life really is good. I might have a child with disabilities, but he is the joy of my life. When we don't have to deal with the outside crap, life IS good. He maintains the wonder and joy that is part of childhood. He is polite and caring, a good young man. I'm proud of him. Growing up in his shoes hasn't been easy but he has persevered and found passions in his life.

I think that's the trick, having passions. Ryan loves music. Since he's profoundly hard of hearing and aided in both ears he is exceptionally grateful that he can hear it with today's technology. He's passionate about listening to many different kinds. His relative deafness makes him more aware of his other senses. He is extremely visual. Movies, with his FM system or closed captioning, are a huge hobby of his. From contemporary, like the Harry Potter movies, right down to vintage, like Bringing Up Baby with Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn or the comedy of Laurel and Hardy he is enrapt.

We've just started to fish and Ryan loves that. He's passionate about beaches and parks so fishing, being a new hobby we're introducing, fits right in! He loves to hike and take photos. His pics are a little avant garde but hey, we all see the world differently from one another, don't we?

I have passions. I love to read and to write. Some of the hobbies I've introduced to Ryan are mine so that we enjoy them together.

Life is Good.

I pray for your happiness today. Your peace and your child with special needs.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Road Crossing Mommy Duck

Ryan and I went to dinner the other night and decided fast food in the park was just the ticket. We brought our cameras and took some shots of whatever we wanted. This one was one of mine, my zoom was a little out of focus. I love robins and this one stood so perfectly.

Then we saw ducks walking in a group in the shade of some enormous pine trees. It was so kooky looking.

The pine tree area was actually a circle surrounded by road. Sometimes, as parents of children with disabilities we can get trapped in a similar way, wandering with the other parents, doing the same things over and over.

In fact, we can quack pretty loudly when some duck crosses the road and ventures out with new ideas and plans. What will become of her chick? Suddenly the rest of the mommy ducks, after standing and watching to make sure the first mommy duck doesn't run in front of a truck, follow. They find a pier to swim under, duck weed to play in, cattails to hide behind ... a whole new world.

Don't be trapped into always going after the same old programs for your child. Be creative. You don't always have to follow the other mommys. Granted, at first it seems like we have to because we don't know what we're doing ... it's a new pond we're swimming in! Don't wait until you have it all under control to try something new. Things will never seem that under control and you won't branch out.

Strike out across the road and follow your heart. Others may laugh, but trust me ... speaking as a road crossing mommy duck ... eventually they follow. :-)  Try new things, develop new models. Be brave. Your heart knows what's best for your child. Listen to it.

God bless you and yours. I pray that God shows you his love in an amazing and concrete way today.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Where the Wild Things Are

When we went to Rice Lake the other day we stopped by the Bear Paw outfitters. Ryan wanted to look for fishing gear. They had a ton of stuffed wildlife including some African animals. I always feel a little sad when I look at them. They're so regal to suffer the indignity of adorning someones wall.

So the next day I took Ryan to see some live tigers at the zoo.

And I think I might have feel even sorrier for these animals. The picture doesn't show the sheer size of this cat. It was enormous with huge paws. Because it is native to Africa I have a different view of it than I did of the bobcat or the bear.

These are bobcats, and we have them in nearly every county in Wisconsin north of I-90. Yikes! The fact that they were caged just mean two less to be out in the wild near me. I feel the same way about bears.

When I lived in the country we had bears sleep across the road in the wild plum bushes. The dog and I would freak each morning they'd been there and some nights she wouldn't go out and I knew the bear was out there. When we moved to town I relaxed significantly, but we even get them in town sometimes, wandering around the clinic or somewhere else.

At any rate, we went from the zoo to the botanical garden-like farm market and wandered through their 27 greenhouses, then I felt more like myself. Ryan wanted more flowers for some pots on the patio and for his raised beds. He's really embracing this and even has a pair of cheap WalMart Croc-like shoes that he wears only for gardening. Too cute!

We planted more onion sets last evening but it was so mosquito-y outside we came in. I'll have to fog today if they're bad. I refuse to be driven indoors by them. We bought some of those OFF! clip on repellents. We haven't used them yet but when we do I'll let you know how they work.

Now I really am going to be late for church if I don't fly.

God bless you and yours,

Much love and joy,

Karen

Daylilies Abound!

My daylilies are blooming and they are gorgeous! I love perennials, so little work, so much color! They come back every year and look stunning. I also have black eyed Susans this year, Shasta daisies and some exotics.

Here is a pink and white exotic. We went to one of my fav greenhouses and they had tons of colors on sale. I wanted to buy them all. However, we were there for Ryan's horticultural beds and I decided to wait for my stuff until a different time. Maybe next summer after I'm off crutches.

The tiger lilies look like they'll bloom this weekend. Ryan was outside yesterday with me and weeding his little garden beds. I FINALLY talked him into leaving Happy outside in the garden (his little scarecrow). It's a testament to how much safer he feels back there. That privacy fence has been amazing for him.

I feel like Ryan and I can share the gardening, as well as him sharing with other people, it gives us a common love. He cleaned his first onion last night (I helped a little--sensory issues, you know?) and needs to plant more this weekend. He typically doesn't like onions but ate one last night because he picked it and cleaned it. His green beans are blooming and I can't wait to get all those vitamins in him! 

God bless you all. Have a great Saturday.

Much love and joy,

Karen

Horticultural Therapy Beds

Hi there and Happy Friday!

I realized I hadn't really shown you all good pictures of Ryan's horticultural beds. Here's a shot of the first one. He has marigolds on the end, three or four different types of tomatoes next to that, radishes, carrots and then green beans on the end.The beans are blooming and the tomatoes have little green fruit on them. He's thrilled!

This photo shows part of the first and second one. The second one is lower in profile. He has green onions on one end, then two cucumber hills and four rows of peas with marigolds on the end. We went out last night and started with weeding. Ryan picks one tiny weed at a time so I end up helping of course, but by the time it was done he'd spent a good half hour in the fresh air.

He lovingly watered his produce and then we picked a few of his onions. He must have asked me five times "Are you cleaning my onions?" or "Are those nice onions?" etc. It was precious! He kept coming into the kitchen and looking at them as though he couldn't quite believe he'd grown them. He called his grandmother and told her, he talked to his great aunt about it. He had stories to tell. I LOVE that about the horticultural therapy which has tons of physical, emotional and psychological benefits (I wrote an extensive article on it once for my column) but it has a social component. Ryan has a common language with other gardeners and farmers. It gives him a reason to pick up the phone and talk to family members. It's awesome on too many levels to go into here.

Strait-Edge Construction did the beds for us last fall. I recommend them for this type of job too. The stones are secured with pins so the beds don't start sagging or settling in a weird configuration. 

Today we're planting more onions and his second batch of radishes are up so we'll look at those. He also slept with his window open a couple of inches last night again because of the security fence! I didn't realize how much he worried about it until now. He sleeps better because of  the fresh air too. So many benefits from a simple fence and some gardening beds. Every day we discover more benefits!

That's it for me today,

Have a good one .... grill a hamburger for me tonight! 

Much love and joy,

Karen 

Photo Safaris

I love taking photos and this one of a wild flower is precious I think. The ditches are filled with wildflowers right now. Purple, yellow, white, orange and pink color the roadsides, making it look like the poppy fields in Oz.

Ryan and I take photo safaris. We love to grab our cameras and head out for an entire day. Sometimes we have a goal in mind and sometimes we just turn on whatever road we want to. We've spent time at Zoos, at parks, on bike trails ... on the side of the road. This one was taken at Beaver Creek. We spend a lot of time there.

I love digital photography because you can take multiple photos from different angles and then check them out when you get home.

Ryan has a good eye. I do therapeutic scrapbooking with him and the pics come in very handy. If you're interested, I also teach therapeutic scrapbooking to parents or caregivers of children with special needs. Let me know if you're interested.

Hope your day is awesome!

Much love and joy,

Karen

Our Obsession with Paddleboats

Ryan has been interested (read that obsessed) with the paddleboats of the Mississippi River since he was tiny ... The Mississippi Queen, the American Queen and various others.

Last summer, we got an invitation to have lunch on the LaCrosse Queen paddleboat. It was a fun trip and one that Ryan won't soon forget. We had to stay on the bottom deck however. Ryan managed to literally crawl up the stairs to the upper level but then I needed help to get him back down. He couldn't describe how he felt but I wonder if he had vertigo. When you combine height and motion for me, I do. Plus with the auditory things he has going on it wouldn't surprise me if vestibular issues were part of what was going on.

I ran into another mom I knew and she recommended going up top. When I told her why we wouldn't be trying that again she said, "Even A  (her kid) could do that!" This from a parent who has a child with disabilities. I wanted to smack her. Honestly! Ryan was right there!

At any rate, I digress. The lunch was fun and it was a sensory experience as we felt the vibrations of the wheel, the spray of the water and the wind in our face when we went outside. It's not a hotel Queen like the  others but LaCrosse Queen was written on the side so Ryan was a happy boy.

This is a shot of the Julia Belle Swain, another paddleboat on the Mississippi that was similar to the LaCrosse Queen. It's a little bigger I think. You can tell we took the photo from inside the boat as we rode.

Ryan has calmed down regarding the paddleboats, now that he's been on one. It's nice to move on to other fixations. .

Have a great day and boy, I hope the sun comes out soon!

Much love and joy,

Karen

Bobbing Along

This is a little hard to see but it's the bobber on my line while fishing. I took a picture because it reminded me of me.

Seems  like I ride low in the water too some days. Depending on what's going on I may get pulled under, or I maybe be dragged across the water. Parenting a child with special needs has days like that. Days when you feel like you're drowning. Strangely enough, it's not usually the kid that is the problem, it's the system that is supposed to be there to help him or her. (although kids too are fun some days ... Ryan took out my GPS yesterday! Poor kid! He felt awful!)

I spend hours and hours each week researching, comparing and billing for various services. Don't get me wrong ... I LOVE that Ryan gets to partake in all of his disability services that get him into the community or that make a difference in his overall quality of life. I just get tired, weary and frustrated with the paperwork and circus that can surround it all. The amount of work leaves little time for anything else.

What about you? Even answering a simple medical form for a program ends up being a novella! What has your fish line in a knot?

If you're feeling like a bobber today, I pray that you remember that God will keep you afloat. Bobbers rise up to the top of the water.

Have a great day and remember that I'm praying for you and yours,

Much love and joy,

Karen

The Benefits of Storytelling

My father has been gone now for sixteen years. It doesn't seem like it can be that long. When father's day looms I feel just a little sad. My son barely remembers him. Yesterday, however, we went fishing and all sorts of stories came to me, stories I could tell Ryan about his Boppa.

We laughed about motoring into the Mississippi River sloughs where it was common to get our lines caught in the low slung bushes when casting .... then I got my line caught in a low slung bush while casting ... and had to rip it out by yanking on the pole.

We laughed and told stories about Boppa. When we were done for the day, I told Ryan more incidents from our fishing days with his grandfather.

What's my point? Don't underestimate the power of storytelling your family history to your child with special needs, especially those stories that are about other people and the things they used to do that weren't perfect. As Robin Williams says on Good Will Hunting, "That's the good stuff."

If I gently tell about Boppa getting his line stuck in a bush and laugh warmly and affectionately, then when Ryan gets his line stuck we can laugh with him. He's like Boppa. He's connected. He's part of a larger group, his family. His inability is shared. His Boppa used to do that from time to time, his mom just did that and look ... now he did too.

Storytelling about other family members also works on more than connectedness, it works on common language and it works on memory (there is a vested interest in remembering the story). It has benefits on so many different levels.

Tell your child a story today, about your childhood, about your young adulthood. He or she can learn from your tales of joy and woe.

Until next time,

Much love and joy,

Karen